“Over the years, I have received several emails from ladies wanting tips on how and where to find a Southern gentleman. Southern gentlemen are few and far-between in today’s society, and ladies who want what marriage should be, who want a husband who will honor and cherish her and treat her like his queen, will be looking for a way to meet them. That is exactly how it should be, and those Southern gentlemen are certainly looking for those same Southern ladies. There is no magic formula to make this happen, but perhaps we can pass along a few ideas that may help.”
I am myself seeking a Southern lady – although I would be open to one from another geographic region, if she shared the same attributes and values! – and so I found this very interesting. Perhaps others may as well.
Stephen sketches out general categories such as “Networking,” “Outward Appearance,” “Activities,” “Manners, Etiquette, and Lifestyle” (the first two, in particular, seeming to be almost unknown – or at least, held in little esteem – in today’s world), and includes “A few other notes.” I particularly liked his penultimate comment in this section:
“If all of this sounds too submissive or weak or ‘Goody Two Shoes’ for you, then do yourself and Southern gentlemen a favor and realize that you are not a good match. Southern gentlemen and ladies are both quite rare. There is a reason for that.”
Of equal interest (to me, anyway, being a gentleman rather than a lady) to Stephen’s original blog post is the response from a self-described “single lady” named Nancy, who describes “some of what I look for in a man, as a potential husband/partner.”
What is especially interesting to me is that among the ten characteristics she lists as being important to her, being a “ripped hunk with abs of steel,” or being a multimillionaire, do not make the list.
So what does she look for?
She does (understandably) seek someone who leads “a basically healthy lifestyle,” and who is “neat, clean, and tidy” (“Are his cloths neat? Does he wear anything beyond t-shirts and sweat pants? Are his hair, mustache, and beard neatly trimmed? Does he have good hygiene practices?”) – but assuming she is being honest in her assessment, she’s not looking for a superman or a movie star.
Instead, she seeks characteristics like “Does he have a pleasant sense of humor? Is he comfortable in his own skin? How does he treat me? Does he seem concerned about my happiness and welfare? Does he have anger issues? Is he ‘father material’?”
These, with the rest of her list, are characteristics that a young woman might profitably consider, as she seeks a man – and which a man might profitably seek to foster, if he seeks a decent, respectable, and worthy woman to be his sweetheart and eventual wife.