“We’ve analyzed the numbers, and the one pattern that’s emerging here is that 100% of human beings are still in the loving hands of their Creator,” said a spokesperson for the CDC. “Christ created the world and holds the universe together by the power of His will. In Him all things hold together.”
The Babylon Bee has a knack for concealing truth under the guise of humour (or satire). Here, the truth is a little closer to the surface, and not very satirical at all:
“Remarkably, this data is very similar to researchers’ findings during the Fall of Rome, Black Plague, Holocaust, Spanish flu, swine flu, bird flu, and every other time of turmoil humanity has faced. No matter what the specific plague or time of suffering, research has always pointed to the fact that God is sovereign and bends the thread of history to His will for His glory.”
Reminds me of my dear late mother, who, when I used to worry about things – from problems in school to the danger of nuclear armageddon (I grew up at the height of the Cold War) – would give me a comforting hug and remind me, “God is still in charge.”
Consider yourself hugged.