The Death of Eros by Mark Regnerus | Articles | First Things

Something strange is going on in America’s bedrooms… The trend is most pronounced among the young. Controlling for age and time period, people born in the 1930s had the most sex, whereas those born in the 1990s are reporting the least. Fifty years on from the advent of the sexual revolution, we are witnessing the demise of eros.

Source: The Death of Eros by Mark Regnerus | Articles | First Things

Interesting! Not everyone will agree with this, of course, but it’s based on academic social science research (so it can’t be simply dismissed as the ravings of those “deplorable” religious types…) and at the least, raises some issues that are worth pondering. Among them:

Despite all the talk of the “hookup culture,” the vast majority of sex happens within long-term, well-defined relationships. Yet Americans are having more trouble forming these relationships than ever before. Want to understand the decline of sex? Look to the decline in marriage…

A decline in commitment isn’t the only reason for the sexual recession. Today one in eight adult Americans is taking antidepressant medication, one of the common side effects of which is reduced libido. Social media use also seems to play a part. The ping of an incoming text message or new Facebook post delivers a bit of a dopamine hit—a smaller one than sex delivers, to be sure, but without all the difficulties of managing a relationship…

If these were the only causes, the solution would be straightforward: a little more commitment, a little less screen time, a few more dates over dinner, more time with a therapist, and voilà. But if we follow the data, we will find that the problem goes much deeper, down to one of the foundational tenets of enlightened opinion: the idea that men and women must be equal in every domain.

Social science cannot tell us if this is true, but it can tell us what happens if we act as though it is. Today, the results are in. Equality between the sexes is leading to the demise of sex.

Follow the link for more details. As I say, this idea won’t be popular, or even acceptable, with many people. I would modify it to say that identicality, rather than “equality” per se, is the real issue: the idea that men and women are basically interchangeable, rather than being different but complementary, and excelling in different roles. But however you want to parse it, it’s at least worth considering, rather than merely dismissing.

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Pope says gender theory part of ‘global war’ on marriage, family | Reuters

Pope Francis warned on Saturday of a “global war” against traditional marriage and the family, saying both were under attack from gender theory and divorce.

Source: Pope says gender theory part of ‘global war’ on marriage, family | Reuters

The current occupant of the See of Peter can be a bit… erratic… in his pronouncements, in my opinion, but I cannot fail to agree with him in this. There is indeed a global war on marriage and family – especially in the West, where the falling birthrate among Europeans and people of European heritage practically amounts of a species of self-inflicted genocide – and “gender theory” (along with easily-obtainable, “no fault” divorce) is certainly a weapon in that war.

Gender theory is broadly the concept that while a person may be biologically male or female, they have the right to identify themselves as male, female, both or neither.

Regarding that: I hope and trust I am not alone in experiencing severe cognitive dissonance when I hear people on the left side of the political aisle decrying “alternative facts,” and loudly proclaiming their allegiance to “science” and “reason” – only to turn around and, in the next breath, proclaim “but you’re whatever gender you self-identify as.”

Excuse me? What happened to science and reason? Isn’t it an “alternative fact” for someone who was born, say, a biological male – and clearly remains one, on the genetic level (chromosomes don’t lie) – to, in effect, “cosplay” a female through the use of hormone injections and cosmetic surgery? Isn’t it an “alternative fact” to think that God or nature made a “mistake,” which then has to be “corrected” by drastic means – which, nonetheless, do not alter one’s biological / genetic makeup?

Don’t misunderstand me, I have great empathy for people with gender dysphoria (formerly known as “gender identity disorder”). It must be a terrible thing to wake up each morning uncomfortable in your own body. But as a matter of science and reason, not to mention the pursuit of objective truth – and yes, I do believe that exists – shouldn’t someone with gender dysphoria be encouraged to engage in therapy, or whatever other appropriate means exist, to help them overcome this psychological disorder, rather than enabling them in their delusion?

That was, of course, a rhetorical question. There is no doubt in my mind what the answer should be.

Emotional Connection: How to Get the Sex Life of Your Dreams

What is the one thing we want and need most in relationships?

If you said sex … you’re wrong.

Source: Emotional Connection: How to Get the Sex Life of Your Dreams

While the headline speaks of sex – it’s no secret that “sex sells” – this is really about more than just sexuality; it’s about the importance of emotional connection, intimacy, and commitment:

Recent studies have shown that people who have the highest sexual satisfaction and the most sex are married couples. This statistic defeats the commonly held notion that intimacy for couples must decrease with time, and that novel sexual encounters are the most satisfying.

In the context of a committed relationship, it is not novelty that determines satisfaction, but emotional connection.

The deeper you are able to connect with your partner emotionally, the more dynamic your sexual experience will be. The greater your emotional connection is with your partner, the more in tune you will be with their physical and sexual needs as well.  Emotional connection requires the most sensitivity of any of our needs, so it is the most important connection to practice.

Since it’s difficult to develop a significant emotional connection in the absence of a sustained and committed relationship, commitment is key to a healthy and satisfying sex life – as it is in pretty much every other aspect of a worthwhile relationship. So where did we get this crazy idea that promiscuity is a desirable trait?

In any case, some of us intuited this truth about the critical importance of emotional connection a long, long time ago… but it’s still kind of nice to see some additional research backing it up! Now I just need to find the right woman… nothing could be simpler, right? *wry grin*

After all, my standards aren’t high (irony alert!) – just someone with whom I can connect on all levels: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual… One day, God willing!