Should You Live Together Before Marriage? | The Art of Manliness

Source: Should You Live Together Before Marriage? | The Art of Manliness

One of the things I love about The Art of Manliness is that it does not shy away from addressing the tough subjects. And one of those, in today’s world, is the question of cohabitation before marriage. Traditionally, of course, there has been a religious prohibition against it, and that remains in force in more traditional Christian churches, denominations, and communions, my own included.

But for many today, “because the Bible says so” – or, even less, “because the Church says so” – is not of itself a sufficient reason. Even for myself, perhaps because my namesake is “doubting” Thomas (“questioning” Thomas would be a better and more accurate monicker), I want to know not just what, but why. This article goes into considerable and thoughtful detail on the subject, and I recommend it highly.

It focuses on twentysomethings, because that is the focus of the blog. But the issues are not limited to those in their 20s; I am quite a good bit older than that, but though I do not presently have a girlfriend, I still hope to, some day, and when I do, this issue will undoubtedly come up. Perhaps even more intensely for someone of more mature years: I may not be as hormone-driven as a younger man, but I am even more anxious to settle down… and that carries its own dangers.

In any case, I strongly encourage you (especially if you are not married, or if you are and have kids who will be facing this issue one day) to read the article. If you read nothing else, read this:

Studies show that couples who don’t cohabitate serially, only living with the person they end up marrying, and who wait to move in with that person until they get engaged, have the same rate of marriage stability and compatibility as those who only move in together after actually walking down the aisle. The ritual of engagement, having a deliberate plan to marry, carries the kind of ambiguity-slaying intentionality that leads to a happy union.

But, if you’re going to wait to live together until after you’re engaged, why not hold out a little longer and move in after you’ve tied the knot? From an objective standpoint, it won’t have any negative effect whatsoever on your chances for wedded happiness and longevity. From a subjective one, it will enormously enhance the transformative weight of a ritual meant to weld two lives into one. There’s so much sameness in our culture, in our lives, that it pays to intentionally create moments of memorable, meaningful, heightened drama yourself.

For it’s one thing to say “I do” and go right back to the same old apartment you’ve been sharing for a long time prior, and another to carry your bride across a threshold into a new abode, a new life, that’s now neither mine nor hers, but ours.

Amen.

 

Traditional vs modern society

Traditional vs modern society

One of the reasons that I am a traditionalist.

Please note: this does not mean that traditional societies were, or healthy societies ought to be, static or stagnant. There was, is, and ought to be a dynamic equilibrium, incorporating ebb and flow, travel and interchange, etc.

But what is rejected – and what I reject – is the absurd notion that “change is good,” that change for its own sake should be the norm, and the preferred option.

Change is not good! Not intrinsically. Good change can be good, but the burden of proof is on those who desire the change, to demonstrate how and why it will be good, and that the difficulties and challenges that accompany it – for there will always be those – do not outweigh the benefits.

Stability, balance, equilibrium: these are the things that make for stable, peaceful, and long-lasting societies. Without a great deal of caution and care, change can result in chaos, and chaos is more likely to be destructive than otherwise.

German media failed to report refugee crisis honestly, study finds – The Local

An influential German institute has studied thousands of article published by daily newspapers during the refugee crisis. Their conclusion: journalists lost their objectivity and drove a wedge through society.

Source: German media failed to report refugee crisis honestly, study finds – The Local

Now, why does this not surprise me…?

As hundreds of thousands of refugees arrived in Germany in 2015 and early 2016, daily newspapers took on the role of “public educators” rather than objective critics of public policy, a team of researchers at the Otto Brenner Institute conclude, according to a report in Die Zeit this week

The report, which will be published on Monday, criticizes “the so-called mainstream media” for lining up behind Chancellor Angela Merkel’s open-door refugee policies, and for uncritically taking on “the slogans of the political elite.”

Journalists used the slogan Willkommenskultur (welcoming culture) to put moral pressure on citizens to contribute to the cause of supporting refugees, the study finds.

And in the process, may have damned and possibly doomed Germany, and Europe with her. They have much to answer for!

Paper: Future of Globalization ‘Shaken’ by Trump Victory, Nationalist ‘Political Earthquakes’ – Breitbart

President Donald Trump’s 2016 victory and other nationalist “political earthquakes” have put globalization advocates on the defensive while even convincing some economists who once believed in globalization like a religion to change their minds, Nikil Saval writes after having attended this year’s World Economic Forum in Davos.

Source: Paper: Future of Globalization ‘Shaken’ by Trump Victory, Nationalist ‘Political Earthquakes’ – Breitbart

“[Presidential advisor Steve] Bannon’s prescription, according to Green, ‘is to tear down the global free-trade system, to close America’s borders, to deport people who are here illegally, and to curb legal immigration … as a way of privileging American citizens and reasserting … a cultural identity.'”

He says that like it’s a bad thing. What a concept, that an American presidential administration might desire to privilege Americans and reassert our own cultural identity! Sure didn’t get that from the last one.

Indeed, it is time, and well past time, for many nations and peoples, not just Americans, to reassert our national and cultural identity against the stifling, smothering effects of corporate globalism, mass immigration – be it illegal or ostensibly legal – and “brave new world” economic and social engineering.

Let us hope and pray that this is not just a blip, that the pendulum is really and truly starting to swing!

coldantlerfarm: An Open Letter To Angry Vegetarians

“The following is a letter to [an] Angry Vegetarian and to any others who may feel the same way. But before you read it please understand that this letter is not directed at the vegetarian diet in general. I have no qualms with it, at all. Millions of people avoid meat for religious, health-related, or various reasons of preference. This letter is not directed at them. This is a letter for the angry folks who think not eating meat makes them morally superior to those of us who do.”

Source: coldantlerfarm: An Open Letter To Angry Vegetarians

Wow! This is an awesome, excellent essay. So true, and so well said. I will only include a couple of excerpts here, but I strongly encourage you to read the whole thing. It is well worth it!

The truth is there is no meal we can eat without killing. None. A trip to your local grocery store for tofu and spinach may not include a single animal product but the harvesting of such food costs endless animal lives. Growing fields of soy beans for commercial clients means removing habitat from thousands of wild animals, killing them through deforestation and loss of their home. Songbirds and insects are killed by pesticides at legion. Fertilizers are made from petroleum now, and those fields of tofu seeds are literally being sprayed with oil we are fighting wars over. Deer died for that tofu. Songbirds died. Men and women in battle died. And then when the giant tofu factory harvested the beans they ran over those chemical oil fields of faux-food with combines that rip open groundhogs, mice, and rabbits. Tear apart frogs and fledgling birds. It is a messy and bloody business making tofu or any of that other non-murderous food…

You can not ignore this. You can’t call a small farmer a murderer and turn a blind eye to the groundhog ripped in two, the owl without a nest, or the blood spilled for oil halfway across the globe through military force. I mean, you can ignore it, of course you can. You can also search the internet for people killing pigs and call them names, but that doesn’t make you right. There is nothing you or I eat that wasn’t once alive save for some minerals. Plants and mushrooms are living things, just as alive as animals. And we take their lives wholesale and without regret. In the words of Joel Salatin,

“… By what stretch of arrogance do you think a life form that looks like you is more important than a life form that doesn’t?”

We can graze our animals in ways that returns good nutrients to the soil and heal the earth. We can grow two or three harvests of those grasses and feed them to animals like sheep, cows, and goats all winter. This is what my part of the world eats if they are serious about saving the environment. We can do this without using a lot of oil, close to home, and harvest the animals we know without driving to a store to waste gas, plastic bags, and pave another parking space. When I kill a chicken I end one life. A life I was present for, grateful for, and worked hard for. I have a hard time taking criticism seriously from someone who swipes a credit card for a bag of groceries they have convinced themselves is more righteous, having never weeded a row or hefted a bag of feed. A really hard time…

Eat in whatever way invokes respect and gratitude in your soul. Be grateful we live in this time of contrived and soon-to-be over luxury and abundance. But do not come to battle here, accusing those of us raising good meat of murder. Those are fighting words…

Read. Please. And if necessary or appropriate, learn.

This is Europa – All the Things We Cherish – YouTube

There are some who try to claim that Europe “has no culture,” that it must be “enriched” by those pouring in from outside – largely from failed countries from sub-Saharan Africa, and to some degree the Middle East. This video provides just a brief glimpse into how completely and incredibly wrong that is.

Europe and Europeans are the originators of the highest of all high cultures, and the destruction of Europe – which seems entirely possible, if things continue as they seem to be going at present – would be a horrific loss, not only to Europe itself, and to people of European heritage, but to the world.

Here is another, longer, video providing a window into the glory that is European culture and Western civilization. I may have posted it before, but even if so, it deserves another look:

Europe, remember who you are!

Castle Combe: a picturesque medieval village in England and one of the loveliest in the country

Oh boy, do we love medieval villages which look like they’ve been taken out of a fairy tale! … Castle Combe, a civil parish [in the Cotswolds], and a tiny village with a population of about 350, is considered as one the most photographed places in England, and we totally understand why.

Source: Castle Combe: a picturesque medieval village in England and one of the loveliest in the country

An example of what we could lose. Can you imagine this place overrun with third-world immigrants and their descendants…? Europe, defend yourself!